I've never got the hang of bare legs in winter.
It's still a big thing in fashion circles, where the stylish will gladly freeze in order to look chic.
I love the warmth and corset-like security that comes with stretching on a pair of tights, so, in theory, I should be happy that there are a lot of options for what the Americans quaintly call 'hose' this autumn and winter.
Style challenge: Anyone old enough to remember patterned tights on City girls in the early Nineties, unlike Agyness Deyn, left, or Sarah Harding, should steer clear
However, the majority of them are patterned, be it with lace, embroidery, paisley, houndstooth checks, even broad lamé stripes.
And I know better than to try this look at home.
'Strictly for the TV presenter Alexa Chung,' says Eilidh MacAskill, editor of In Style magazine, and fellow 35-plus mother of two.
'Because patterned tights are so retro and so potentially ageing, they can only be worn ironically.'
Don't try this at home: Patterned tights can be ageing, unless you are Peaches Geldof, left, or Fearne Cotton
Frankly, they are a style challenge for anyone old enough to remember them on City girls in the early Nineties.
Another friend our age agrees: 'I think they should be banned. 'I can't believe I used to wear them.
They do funny things to even the skinniest ankles.' Strangely, everyone agrees on the exception to the rule - it seems that fishnets look right at any age.
And if courage, or your ankles, fail you, then do as I will: rest easy in the knowledge that the simple black opaque is still very much out there.
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